1. Subaru Baja:
This is easily one of the dumbest looking cars I've seen in years. It's a car with an identity crisis: it can't decide whether it wants to be a car or a truck, so it tries to be both and the result is a goofy looking cross between the back end of a Datsun pickup truck and the front half of one of those dog sheit $5 canvas sneakers from Walmart.
Then, as if they haven't given your eyes enough of a beast raping, they tack on two tons of ugly plastic trim on the side and paint it shiny so people will know that your dumb ass is coming from miles away. I'm trying hard to come up with something good to say about this car, but I just can't. Actually, that was a lie. I wasn't trying to say anything good about the car because I hate everything about it and anyone stupid enough to buy one.
2. Pontiac Aztek:
I can just imagine the designers brainstorming, when suddenly the bosses son came up with this Rooster barf: "hey, let's make the back end of the car look like a deformed rhombus, and while we're at it, let's smash two cars on top of each other for the front half and call it a day!" The double grill disaster they have going on in the front sets a new benchmark for stupid grills (a title previously held by the Cadillac Escalade).
3. Honda Element:
Style is the element lacking most in this cubist atrocity. Everything about this car screams "tacky." This car just looks terrible; it looks like it was designed by a blind child with arthritis. In a coma. Whoever chose the color scheme for this car was probably asked to do so at gun point, because I don't think it's possible to choose two uglier colors.
This is coming from a guy who has the color-coordination skills of Stevie Wonder, if that tells you anything (I'm straight).
I have to give Honda credit though: at least they chose a name dumb enough to suit the car. What kind of name is "Element"? What next, the Honda Isotope? Fortunately, this is one Element you won't find on the periodic table. I wanted to rate this one higher, but it's nice to see big companies like Honda giving blind designers a chance.
4. Chevy Avalanche:
Nothing says versatile like a truck made out of rubber. Chevy decided to subscribe to the "tack as much sheit on the sides as you can" school of thought, throwing two or three tons of trim on the sides like the Subaru Baja.
It almost looks like a Transformer, but since Transformers are badass (except for when the creators were temporarily abducted by aliens and a shitty-cartoon chip was implanted in their brains that caused them to make the short lived "Beast Wars" series), it was hard for me to find a Transformer lame enough to do the Avalanche justice. Alas, the first one who came to mind is the one I eventually went with:
