stalest joke competiition

[devrat]

Oh god no!!!

[Mr.Bollywood]

partner in work now tell me this:

what do u call a dinosaur that twerks?





a Miley-Saurus

Take yuh bags and get out with that one!!

[Morpheus]

@ Stev

[stev]

let me try to make a comeback

Mother Teaches Her Child To Go To The Bathroom Mother taught her son to go to the bathroom by the numbers:

1. Open your fly.
2. Take out your equipment.
3. Pull back the skin.
4. Do your business.
5. Let the skin forward.
6. Stow your equipment.
7. Close your fly.

She did check on him often to see if he had learned the lesson, and heard 1,2,3,4,5,6,7. She was very happy until one day she checked and heard 3-5, 3-5, 3-5.

[kevin5211]

So a cowboy gets married to a young naive bribe who knows nothing about sex and life on the whole. On their way to the hotel after the wedding she sees two horses humping.she asks "what are they doin honey?" The husband replies "them horses are roping sweetie , we gona do sum roping later tonight."

Later on in the evening they start having sex and the husband is giving it all he got.all of a sudden his wife starts furiously pulling on his balls. He shouts "What the hell are you doing woman?"

The wife replys













"I'm trying to undo these damned knots, I need more rope".

[G-T]

^oh crap!.. lol

[skylinechild]

Dakota Native American tribal wisdom, passed on from generation to generation, says:

"When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount and get a different horse."

However, in government, education and corporate trinidad more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:

1. Buying a stronger whip.

2. Changing riders.

3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.

4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.

5. Lowering the standards so that the dead horse can be included.

6. Reclassifying the dead horse as 'living impaired'.

7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.

8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.

9. Providing additional funding and / or training to increase dead horse's performance.

10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.

11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overheads and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.

12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.

And of course.

13. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position!

[ismithx]

^^ we shud close the thread...

[maj. tom]

So this is what teachers feel like when this happens...?

[turbo_monkey]

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other:

'Does this taste funny to you ?'

[Morpheus]

So this is what teachers feel like when this happens...?

*double facepalm

[mitsu_chick941]

>
> *A blonde girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the
> summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and started
> canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.
> * *
> She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he
> had any odd jobs for her to do.
> *
> *"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the porch" he said. "How
> much will you charge me?"
>
> Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"
> *
> *The man agreed and told her that the paint and brushes and everything she
> would need were in the garage.
> *
> *The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she
> realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"
>
> "That's a bit patronizing, isn't it?" he responded. “She can see that it
> does.”
> *
> *The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all
> those blonde jokes."
> *
> *A few hours later the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
> *
> *"You're finished already??" the startled husband asked.
> *
> *"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I even had paint left over so I gave it
> two coats."
> *
> *Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to
> her along with a $10 tip.
> *
> *"Thank you," the blonde said, "And, by the way, it's not a Porch, it's
> a Lexus."

[Morpheus]

^^tears of pain

[SmokeyGTi]

Old man talking about the good ole days with his son.
Old man: Son, when I was your age, I used to go to the grocery with $5.00 and come back home with two bag full of supplies. Is rice, flour, salt, sugar, etc, etc. Plus $2.99 in change.

Son: Whey sah, cyah do dat today nah pops.

Old man: Sure right, it have too much security camera now.

lol

[risley93]

52" LG smart 3D TV for $5,400. Let me know if u are interested, a friend of mine know the owner who want to travel and selling out stuff.
Here is a pic of same TV http://bit.ly/IFRXA8

[sMASH]

U sure that is a smart tv?
And like the settings need resetting, all max out to dotish

[rspann]

I ask a beethamite to recite the alphabet and he say,...........C,E...F,G..K...N.....S..U..X. I start to scratch my head wondering if they really so dunce. Then i realize the only thing they know about is SEX, GUN and KFC.

[minipresident]

Old lady goes to the dentist, ....sits on the chair, ...lowers her panties and lifts her legs up.



Dentist says "I'm not a Gynaecologist."



"I know," she says...










"I want you to take my husband's teeth out."




*****

[ckboy]

M
B

[IdleMind2504]

[Mr.Bollywood]

This pic matches op name!!!! But take win dow!

[Jahflame]

Why don't Jews use body lotion?















Because, it's for skin

[Outa Banton]

^^^ Ouch......dat Bad!!

[pluggie]

Teacher : whoever answers my next question, can go home.
boy throws his bag out the window
Teacher : who just threw that?!
Kamla : Me! I’m going home now.

[pluggie]

Son: Dad, what does 'gay' means?
Father: It means 'to be happy'.
Son: Are you gay?
Father: No, son. I have a wife.

[TG7788]

True story from a primary school teacher:

One boy comes up to teacher crying; "Sir, this boy tell me I so black, my finger print will show up on toolum."

[- Rovin's car audio -]

True story from a primary school teacher:

One boy comes up to teacher crying; "Sir, this boy tell me I so black, my finger print will show up on toolum."

good 1 ......

[goingspeed]

what did the Secret agent biscuit said to the crix???

















my name is BON-----BOUR BON

ah love it........lmfao

[goingspeed]

Kamla goin dong chaguanas..........bow tire ...blow out.........when she pull the trunk.......no Jack.......

[Morpheus]

:?

Impulse is that you?