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stalest joke competiition

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stev
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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby stev » May 9th, 2016, 4:16 pm

What's blue and doesn't weigh much?




...Light blue. :rofl:

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BoostJunkieXL
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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby BoostJunkieXL » May 10th, 2016, 4:22 pm

[quote="stev"]What's blue and doesn't weigh much?




...Light blue. :rofl:[/quote

LOL

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby 4CupMan » May 22nd, 2016, 2:08 pm

A man had three dogs. He named the first two Rolex and Timex and the last one Condom.
So he pardner ask him 'boy where you get them stupid name for them dog'
He say 'boy, the first two is watch dog and the last one is for protection'

:)

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Morpheus
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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby Morpheus » May 22nd, 2016, 5:26 pm

LoL men trying to win yes. LoL geez dem stale. So I LoL'd

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brakefluid
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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby brakefluid » May 22nd, 2016, 8:16 pm

Hahaha

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby shotta 20 » June 22nd, 2016, 2:50 pm

What is blue in colour and smells like Red paint ???





















Blue paint.. :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby rspann » June 22nd, 2016, 5:14 pm

A little boy was asked his surname so he answered James. The man then asked why he not carrying his father's name ,he said I do, ent you ask me for meh Sir name? well he name Mr James.

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby Cantmis » July 4th, 2016, 5:48 am

I farted in the Apple store and everybody got pissed. It's not my fault they don't have Windows...

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Re: RE: Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby hondablood » July 4th, 2016, 3:56 pm

rspann wrote:A little boy was asked his surname so he answered James. The man then asked why he not carrying his father's name ,he said I do, ent you ask me for meh Sir name? well he name Mr James.

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Re: RE: Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby hondablood » July 4th, 2016, 3:56 pm

rspann wrote:A little boy was asked his surname so he answered James. The man then asked why he not carrying his father's name ,he said I do, ent you ask me for meh Sir name? well he name Mr James.

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby hong kong phooey » July 5th, 2016, 1:33 pm

A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers' attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!" A pastor hears this and asks, "Why are you calling them 'dam fish.'" The boy responds, "Because I caught these fish at the local dam." The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds surprised, "I didn't know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way." He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. He responds, "That's the spirit, Dad! Now pass the f*cking potatoes!"

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby carluva » September 15th, 2016, 9:53 pm

What yuh does call ah old Chinee man?...... No kya Coom

What yuh does call ah young Chinee gyul?..... Too Yung too Pong

What yuh does call the child from ay old Chinee man and ah young Chinee gyul?.... How Com Yu Com


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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby dude2014 » September 15th, 2016, 10:26 pm

I was summoned to the ceo's office upon a complaint fom the female storekeeper.
'Did you bring lumber and put it the yard? Why did you not put it inside'?
As frightened as I was, I had no choice but to confesss.
'Boss, she say she eh have place for wood'.

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby bluesclues » November 18th, 2016, 3:49 am

What do u call 2 sweet sweet indian chics standing side by side?


diaBetis

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$h@dy
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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby $h@dy » April 28th, 2017, 6:18 am

Rowley met with the Queen of England, and he asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?"
"Well," replied the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Rowley frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around you are really intelligent?"
The Queen took a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle."
The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send Theresa May in here, would you?"
Theresa May walked into the room and said, "Yes, Your Majesty?"
The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this, if you would, Theresa. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Theresa May answered, "That would be me."
"Yes! Very good," said the Queen.
Rowley went back home to ask Colm Imbert the same question. “ Colm, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," said Imbert. "Let me get back to you on that one." He went to his advisers and asked everyone, but none could give him an answer.
Finally, Imbert ran in to Kamla in a restaurant the next night. Imbert asked, "Kamla, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Kamla answered right back, "That's easy, it's me!"
Imbert smiled, and said, "Thanks!"
Imbert then, went back to speak with Rowley. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle.
It's Kamla!"
Rowley got up, stomped over to Imbert, and angrily yelled, "No, you idiot! It's Theresa May!"
...AND THAT MY FRIENDS IS PRECISELY WHAT'S GOING ON IN PARLIAMENT with Rowley and co


:lol: :lol: :lol:

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby christopherwilliams2 » April 29th, 2017, 7:38 am

4CupMan wrote:Teacher : what's a word starting with L
Student : elephant miss


:P :P :P :P :P
no eh
:roll:

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby 2ndchance » June 29th, 2017, 11:44 pm

A man begged a doctor, "Please doc, help me. I've broken my arm in 3 different places!"
The doctor replied, "Well don't return to those places!"

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby matr1x » June 30th, 2017, 2:13 am

What do you call cumming in a fat girl?






Cream puff pie

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby RedVEVO » June 30th, 2017, 3:58 am

Q: What is the difference between the Trinidadian soccer team and a tea bag?
A: The tea bag usually stays in the Cup!

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby RedVEVO » June 30th, 2017, 4:05 am

TEACHER: Balgobin, go to the map and find North America.
BALGOBIN: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Balgobin!

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby RedVEVO » June 30th, 2017, 6:21 am

TEACHER: Rowley, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as Imbert's. Did you copy his?
ROWLEY: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

2ndchance
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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby 2ndchance » June 30th, 2017, 11:50 pm

RedVEVO wrote:Q: What is the difference between the Trinidadian soccer team and a tea bag?
A: The tea bag usually stays in the Cup!

:lol:
Like the abused child that asked the judge in the custody hearing to let him go live with the West Indies cricket team cause them don't beat anyone!

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby dude2014 » July 3rd, 2017, 2:41 pm

We bought some weeding implement and a young worker carried one home and would not bring it back.
When asked how come?
He replied "Bossman is ah ah Colombian hoe".

RedVEVO
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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby RedVEVO » July 3rd, 2017, 4:19 pm

Why do Trinidad police officers walk in threes ?

The first not know how to read, the second not know how to write and the

third is to keep a protection eye on the two intellectuals.

RedVEVO
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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby RedVEVO » July 3rd, 2017, 4:28 pm

A Trinidad police officer, familiar with radar guns drove through a school zone within the legal speed
limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate.

The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again; even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a
third time, at an even slower speed. Same result.

"This guy must have screwed up the settings," Officer Williams thought.

A few weeks later, when he received the violations in the mail, he discovered three traffic tickets:

Each for not wearing a seat belt!

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hong kong phooey
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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby hong kong phooey » August 16th, 2017, 2:52 am

good one

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coltspeed
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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby coltspeed » August 16th, 2017, 5:32 am

True story.
Accident happened at a construction site. Everyone was asked to give a report on the incident but one person refused.
When asked why he said morvat ppl cannot witness anything. Witnesses does dead.

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skylinechild
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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby skylinechild » January 25th, 2018, 3:21 pm

What is the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
Snowballs.



A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist about her husband: “My husband is acting so weird. He drinks his morning coffee and then he goes and eats the mug! He only leaves the handle!”

Psychiatrist: “Yes, that is weird. The handle is the best part.“




Doctor: “Do you do sports?”

Patient: “Does sex count?”

Doctor: “Yes.”

Patient: “Then no.”





A wife complains to her husband: “Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her, why can’t you do the same?”

The husband: “Are you mad? I barely know that woman!”





I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent.

So I said, “Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?”

One of them snarled at me, “It’s Wales, dumbo!”

So I corrected myself, “Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?”

That’s about as far as I remember.





So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we’re having a baby. For instance my name, address and telephone number!!!!!





Do you know why women aren’t allowed in space?
-
To avoid scenarios like: "Houston, we have a problem!"
-
"What is the problem?"
-
"Yeah, great, pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about!"






A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Ouch, I look like a pig!"

The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"






A woman in a bikini reveals about 90% of her body.... and yet most men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.


Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: “I really don’t get how he can feed himself with that thing!”





Daddy what is a transvestite?
-
Ask Mommy, he knows.





Q: Is Google a he or a she?

A: A she, no doubt, because it won‘t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas.



Today I went to a barber’s shop for a shave. The barber asked me to put a small wooden ball in my mouth so he could get a closer shave around my cheeks.

I asked: “But what if I swallow the ball?”

He replied: “No problem sir, you just bring it back tomorrow like everybody else.”




An optimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and thinks it’s an exit.

A pessimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and assumes it is an onrushing train.

The train conductor sees two stupid guys staggering on train tracks.



Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”

Patient: “OK.”

Dentist: “I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now.”



A camel meets an elephant. The elephant asks jokingly: “Why do you have two breasts on your back?” The camel replies: “With a face like yours, I’d just shut up.”




Father: “Son, you were adopted.”

Son: “What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!”

Father: “We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.”


"Mom, how come I still didn’t get my period? I mean I’m already 19 and Janet got hers when she was just 13!"

"Listen to me, Brian, you’re NOT getting a period ever!"





In a bakery:

Man to the shop assistant: “I’ll have that thing there, please.”

Shop assistant: “Cupcake?”

Man: “OK, Cupcake, I’ll have that thing there, please.”




I’ve read so many horrible things about drinking and smoking recently that I made a new, firm New Year’s resolution: NO MORE READING!





A guy goes to the doctor: “Please help me doc. I have this horrible blinking in my right eye that I just can’t control.”

Doctor: “Ah come on, it’s not so bad as you think.”

Guy: “Oh, you think?! Every time I go to the pharmacy to get some painkillers, they give me condoms!”





A cannibal is invited to a team building week in the mountains.
-
The instructions say he can also bring one friend.
-
But when he arrives, he brings ten people. The organizer is shocked: “Come on Alan, what the heck, the invitation said you can only bring one person!”
-
"Yeah, but it also said bring your own food, didn’t it?!”


I’ve just been to the drugstore and saw that they’re selling lemon-scented intimate deodorants.

Yeah, this really makes sense actually because lemon goes very well with fish.






I heard the Secret Service had to change their commands.

They can't say "Get down!" anymore when the President is under attack.

Now it's "Donald! Duck!"





You sneak into my room, unnoticed; you gently touch one bit of my naked body after the other until you find the most desirable place, then you start sucking. Stupid mosquitoes!






I spent half an hour trying to take off my girlfriend's bra. I give up. I wish I never tried it on in the first place.



Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S.
One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.'

The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend.

"Which part did you get?"





There’s that moment when you put your steak on the grill and your mouth waters all over from that amazing smell.

Do you vegans feel the same when you mow the grass?




“Do you know how to make a dumb person curious?”
-
“No, how?”
-
“I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

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hong kong phooey
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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby hong kong phooey » January 26th, 2018, 4:00 am

pnm have a plan

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hong kong phooey
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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby hong kong phooey » January 26th, 2018, 4:01 am

Rowley know what he doing

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