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Parents on Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

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Re: Parents of Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby zoom rader » May 18th, 2019, 12:20 am

mragoobir wrote:
zoom rader wrote:
adnj wrote:
Les Bain wrote:... getting him to a counsellor to find out the root of the problem is a good start...


The only answer worth noting in this thread.
Root cause is his mom
Pics of mom?
Ask OP to post, he like old folw

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Re: Parents of Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby mragoobir » May 18th, 2019, 12:25 am

zoom rader wrote:
mragoobir wrote:
zoom rader wrote:
adnj wrote:
Les Bain wrote:... getting him to a counsellor to find out the root of the problem is a good start...


The only answer worth noting in this thread.
Root cause is his mom
Pics of mom?
Ask OP to post, he like old folw
Once he roast it, see no problem

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Re: Parents on Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby K74T » May 18th, 2019, 12:37 am

carluva wrote:Out of curiousity, of all the responses received to OPs first post, how many of those are from *actual* parents?
Who says you need to be a parent to give parenting advice?

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Re: Parents on Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby 88sins » May 18th, 2019, 8:52 am

all dis bs ppl going thru, 99% of the time is cuz they want to be the child friend more than a mother or father. somebody neglected to inform these ppl that being respectful to friends is actually optional.

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Re: Parents on Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby rspann » May 18th, 2019, 9:08 am

They trying to bend the tree after it get big.

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Re: Parents on Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby carluva » May 18th, 2019, 10:22 am

K74T wrote:
carluva wrote:Out of curiousity, of all the responses received to OPs first post, how many of those are from *actual* parents?
Who says you need to be a parent to give parenting advice?
Noone. It's just that some of the most ridiculous parenting advice comes from people who are not parents who believe that parenting techniques can be broadly and universally applied and what worked 20 years ago will still work today. Circumstances and personalities differ...

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Re: Parents on Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby nick639v2 » May 18th, 2019, 10:39 am

Have a youth same way by me... What the parents did and it set him straight as a pin, he went to a prestige tong school right but we live Central.Pulled him from the school and sent him to a secondary school (Jr sec) close here home.

Bet soldier cry when he get sacked and friends wasn't around for him to buss style. No ego, no disrespect. He eventually got back his phone and comforts of lil movie lime and thing after about a 6 months.

From an absolute failure to writing exams early last year with distinctions

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Re: Parents on Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby meccalli » May 18th, 2019, 10:58 am

carluva wrote:Out of curiousity, of all the responses received to OPs first post, how many of those are from *actual* parents?

The mother in question here clearly knows what's best for her son and should continue treating him as usual since she knows his personality and circumstances and is an actual parent, it's working out well.

Getting pregnant or being responsible for it doesn't magically confer good parental skills, it passes down by practical instruction to the children who themselves were subject to such. Alternately, so does terrible parenting.

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Re: Parents of Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby The_Honourable » May 18th, 2019, 1:32 pm

zoom rader wrote:
adnj wrote:
Les Bain wrote:... getting him to a counsellor to find out the root of the problem is a good start...


The only answer worth noting in this thread.
Root cause is his mom


A lot of times the single mom is the problem. It's still a taboo subject to discuss for some as single moms are viewed as strong, hardworking, queens, and do no wrong. There are some single moms who do their best and well done to them, but there are some who are absolute beasts that abuse their child or children because most likely they were abused themselves. When challenged, such as the child begins to rebel, they play victim and blame "the child father". When the child does good despite the abuse, they take 100% credit.

OP, investigate the mom just to make sure.

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Re: Parents of Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby zoom rader » May 18th, 2019, 2:47 pm

The_Honourable wrote:
zoom rader wrote:
adnj wrote:
Les Bain wrote:... getting him to a counsellor to find out the root of the problem is a good start...


The only answer worth noting in this thread.
Root cause is his mom


A lot of times the single mom is the problem. It's still a taboo subject to discuss for some as single moms are viewed as strong, hardworking, queens, and do no wrong. There are some single moms who do their best and well done to them, but there are some who are absolute beasts that abuse their child or children because most likely they were abused themselves. When challenged, such as the child begins to rebel, they play victim and blame "the child father". When the child does good despite the abuse, they take 100% credit.

OP, investigate the mom just to make sure.
I told OP this and fellow tuners to avoid single moms.

They single for a reason

When a single mom comes to you for advise, it's not advise she's looking for. Run forest run, don't fall for that trap. Once she hooked you, you are gone

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Re: Parents on Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby carluva » May 18th, 2019, 3:58 pm

meccalli wrote:
carluva wrote:Out of curiousity, of all the responses received to OPs first post, how many of those are from *actual* parents?

The mother in question here clearly knows what's best for her son and should continue treating him as usual since she knows his personality and circumstances and is an actual parent, it's working out well.

Getting pregnant or being responsible for it doesn't magically confer good parental skills, it passes down by practical instruction to the children who themselves were subject to such. Alternately, so does terrible parenting.
On point and concur. OP has only painted part of the picture and there will be many other factors at play that would contribute into the decision/s to deal with this situation.

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Re: Parents on Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby Monk BANzai » May 18th, 2019, 6:09 pm

meccalli wrote:
carluva wrote:Out of curiousity, of all the responses received to OPs first post, how many of those are from *actual* parents?

The mother in question here clearly knows what's best for her son and should continue treating him as usual since she knows his personality and circumstances and is an actual parent, it's working out well.

Getting pregnant or being responsible for it doesn't magically confer good parental skills, it passes down by practical instruction to the children who themselves were subject to such. Alternately, so does terrible parenting.


right now i reading and deciphering the egos from those genuinely interested...but out of this came two inbox messages/calls from professional counselors who are on the board and willing to offer to have sessions with him...each offering the first session free of charge.

To you (you know who you are) i thank you on behalf of a grateful mother. Once she goes with one i'll inform the other so that there isn't a feeling of "abuse of free-ness".

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Re: Parents on Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby 88sins » May 18th, 2019, 6:31 pm

Monk BANzai wrote:
meccalli wrote:
carluva wrote:Out of curiousity, of all the responses received to OPs first post, how many of those are from *actual* parents?

The mother in question here clearly knows what's best for her son and should continue treating him as usual since she knows his personality and circumstances and is an actual parent, it's working out well.

Getting pregnant or being responsible for it doesn't magically confer good parental skills, it passes down by practical instruction to the children who themselves were subject to such. Alternately, so does terrible parenting.


right now i reading and deciphering the egos from those genuinely interested...but out of this came two inbox messages/calls from professional counselors who are on the board and willing to offer to have sessions with him...each offering the first session free of charge.

To you (you know who you are) i thank you on behalf of a grateful mother. Once she goes with one i'll inform the other so that there isn't a feeling of "abuse of free-ness".

cool, good to know he go get sorted out.
wouldn't be a terrible idea for moms to attend a parenting session while he in counseling.

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Re: Parents on Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby zoom rader » May 18th, 2019, 6:50 pm

Monk BANzai wrote:
meccalli wrote:
carluva wrote:Out of curiousity, of all the responses received to OPs first post, how many of those are from *actual* parents?

The mother in question here clearly knows what's best for her son and should continue treating him as usual since she knows his personality and circumstances and is an actual parent, it's working out well.

Getting pregnant or being responsible for it doesn't magically confer good parental skills, it passes down by practical instruction to the children who themselves were subject to such. Alternately, so does terrible parenting.


right now i reading and deciphering the egos from those genuinely interested...but out of this came two inbox messages/calls from professional counselors who are on the board and willing to offer to have sessions with him...each offering the first session free of charge.

To you (you know who you are) i thank you on behalf of a grateful mother. Once she goes with one i'll inform the other so that there isn't a feeling of "abuse of free-ness".
Glad something helping out, but the mom needs some help aswell

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Re: Parents on Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby devrat » May 19th, 2019, 8:59 am

BANzai, there is no across the board solution from these issues as every child has their own personality and at 14 he is struggling to discover his own identity. I have a 14 year old boy and as you are aware, am a single parent since he was 5 years old. He has some behavior problems also but it has a lot to do with finding himself and pushing boundaries set by parental figures.
Being in a "prestige" school can be demanding and if he is falling short will exert his "dominance" in other ways especially of he has the size to back it up.
There were comments about the mother posted here that shows immaturity. "She single for a reason" .....reason is the adults can't stay together, but there is no excuse for a man not to be a father to his son....unless he's dead!
Find the underlying issues, my son has seen a psychologist recommended by his school......more for him to be able to speak out instead of holding it in.
There is no text book fix.

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Re: Parents on Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby axe » May 19th, 2019, 11:27 am

There is MILAT in Mausica...

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Re: Parents on Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby Monk BANzai » May 19th, 2019, 11:11 pm

devrat wrote:BANzai, there is no across the board solution from these issues as every child has their own personality and at 14 he is struggling to discover his own identity. I have a 14 year old boy and as you are aware, am a single parent since he was 5 years old. He has some behavior problems also but it has a lot to do with finding himself and pushing boundaries set by parental figures.
Being in a "prestige" school can be demanding and if he is falling short will exert his "dominance" in other ways especially of he has the size to back it up.
There were comments about the mother posted here that shows immaturity. "She single for a reason" .....reason is the adults can't stay together, but there is no excuse for a man not to be a father to his son....unless he's dead!
Find the underlying issues, my son has seen a psychologist recommended by his school......more for him to be able to speak out instead of holding it in.
There is no text book fix.


Well said. On all points. Especially the bolded part...being part of such a system myself growing up.

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Re: Parents on Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby EFFECTIC DESIGNS » May 20th, 2019, 7:46 am

It is part of evolution, he is doing what he is supposed to do in the absence of a father or any dominating male figure in his life.

The only real solution is for her to take a belt and give him ah sweet cut arse infront of the whole school.

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Re: Parents on Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby rebound » May 20th, 2019, 8:01 am

Team sports with a strong coach would help.
I was never a sports person but, my good friend has a free Basketball Academy and I volunteered as an assistant coach with a few other men and trust me the fact that there are strong male figures around, I am seeing how the kids transform and listen.

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Re: Parents on Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby zoom rader » May 20th, 2019, 8:02 am

EFFECTIC DESIGNS wrote:It is part of evolution, he is doing what he is supposed to do in the absence of a father or any dominating male figure in his life.

The only real solution is for her to take a belt and give him ah sweet cut arse infront of the whole school.
Nope that is not the answer. It's the mom that is the problem

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Re: Parents on Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby EFFECTIC DESIGNS » May 20th, 2019, 8:33 am

zoom rader wrote:
EFFECTIC DESIGNS wrote:It is part of evolution, he is doing what he is supposed to do in the absence of a father or any dominating male figure in his life.

The only real solution is for her to take a belt and give him ah sweet cut arse infront of the whole school.
Nope that is not the answer. It's the mom that is the problem


yeah well we know the mother is the issue, all feminist also has this same issue thinking they can be fathers same time as a mother. Is only now they realize what it takes to be a parent after they failed as parents.

But since the boy far gone now at this point, taking away his phone won't solve the issue. Maybe a cut tail might work

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Re: Parents on Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby Les Bain » May 20th, 2019, 9:11 am

Purely anecdotal but IDGAF.

Charles Bukowski used to speak of the beatings he got from his father. Intense, brutal and for sometimes the most minor transgression. It continued until his dad's age intersected with Charles' teenaged growth spurt, and his dad realized during the final cutass that that particular application of discipline had run its course. He ran out steam, gave up and according to Charles, looked dejected as he left the room. Charles then invited him to ress one final lash to cheer himself up but all his dad could do was guff up, issue a verbal threat and then leave.

So all of you advocating that Banzai friend start wielding the belt, what yall will advise her in the 2-3 year window she has left before the belt cutass stop being effective, organize a carload of skinny dougla fellas from Malabar to jump the boy?

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Re: Parents on Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby EFFECTIC DESIGNS » May 20th, 2019, 9:36 am

Better solution is maybe Banzai could talk to the fella and offer him some life and school advice.

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Re: Parents on Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby teems1 » May 20th, 2019, 9:49 am

EFFECTIC DESIGNS wrote:Better solution is maybe Banzai could talk to the fella and offer him some life and school advice.


In one ear, out the other.

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Re: Parents on Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby redmanjp » May 20th, 2019, 1:20 pm

lack of a father figure is the cause of a lot of these problems. of course many single mothers doh want to admit it

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Re: Parents on Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby snatman » May 20th, 2019, 1:40 pm

shake d livin wake d dead wrote:enroll him in the MILAT program...serious thing

is there a similar program for non-problematic kids?

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Re: Parents on Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby zoom rader » May 20th, 2019, 1:44 pm

redmanjp wrote:lack of a father figure is the cause of a lot of these problems. of course many single mothers doh want to admit it
No it is not

The mother is single, why is she single in the first place?

The mother choices in men breeding her is why she is single.

It is her choise to get pregnant and lack of judgement of good men.

If she knows shes gonna bull then why is she not on the pill or making the guy use a glove.

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Re: Parents on Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby whiteliver » May 20th, 2019, 2:07 pm

K74T wrote:
carluva wrote:Out of curiousity, of all the responses received to OPs first post, how many of those are from *actual* parents?
Who says you need to be a parent to give parenting advice?


stop ...just stop.

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Re: Parents on Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby shake d livin wake d dead » May 20th, 2019, 2:50 pm

snatman wrote:
shake d livin wake d dead wrote:enroll him in the MILAT program...serious thing

is there a similar program for non-problematic kids?


I think MILAT is good enough for both

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Re: Parents on Tuner..how do you deal with your own child's indiscipline?

Postby fallen_angel » May 22nd, 2019, 6:34 am

OP...maybe its the mom that stressed and the boy not sensing her frustration because she trying to look strong in front of him, if she did something to relax it might help her get her senses back together and clear her head to deal with him better...i think the best you can do as someone she trust right now is to try to nail her now before things take a turn for the worse, dont tell anyone about it though, beat it out on the down low because you dont want the boy finding out as you dont know how he would react and if he would accept you as a step daddy or not.

Its for the good of her child and to ensure the frustration he causing doesn't start affecting her job or ability to upkeep herself physically as a beautiful young woman, you need to take this one for the best interest of the boy.

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