The Horner Man's Salvation

[MD Marketers]

Which is wrong?

The act of committing horn
The intention of committing horn
All of the above
None of the above
I don't know

It's really a question about Morality. Feel free to use your Religion's perspective on the issue, but I will warn you, it may not stand up to the test of reasoning.

Please state why you chose your answer if you can please.
Will put it to the test of objective reasoning soon & see where it goes from there.

Definitions:

Right:

Morally good, justified or acceptable

Wrong

Unjust, dishonest or immoral

Intent

Resolved or determined to do something

Act

Behave in the way specified.
Or
A thing done, a deed

Inconsiderate

thoughtlessly causing hurt or inconvenience to others.

Horn

It's a slang that originated from the word "cuckold horns" Please read here for more info http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuckold
"Cuckold Horns" is a slang that refers to the shame of a man whose wife has committed adultery
The meaning eventually evolved & was applied to both sexes
It then further evolved to premarital sexual relationships not limited to gender
The words were then evolved into one word "horn"
Therefore the slang "horn" simply means "having consented sex outside of your sexual relationship"

Sexual Relationship

A relationship involving sexual intimacy

Intimacy

The feeling of being in a close personal association and belonging together formed through knowledge and experience of the other

Here is my answer (don't read until you post your answer and explanation please):

Horn: Having consented sex outside of your sexual relationship.
(feel free to invent a word to describe "a type of relationship outside of your relationship" but we already have a definition for horn)
As with everything in life it's all a matter of the perspective reasoning of someone.
So we must view the answer in terms of perspective reasoning. Here's what I will do. I will tell you what a horn isn't so that by method of elimination you can know what a horn is.

Let's break down the definition from perspective of the alleged offender:

Is it still a horn if the other sexual partner doesn't give consent? No. It's rape. Horn needs consent.
Is it still a horn if the person in your sexual relationship gives consent? No. It's still "inside" your sexual relationship.
Is it still a horn if you didn't have sex. No. We are dealing with the definition.
Is it still a horn if you are not in a sexual relationship? No. Only you can know if you are in or still in a sexual relationship. You better justify why you don't think you are in a sexual relationship if the other party still thinks you are.
Is it still a horn if you change the definition of the word horn? No. It would be a new word with a new definition that deserves a new explanation.

Please note I haven't dealt with the issue of wether it is wrong to horn or intend to horn as yet. It's more important to know what a horn is before you can tell if it is wrong. I probably don't even need to show if it is wrong in the first place because most of you all are using the word incorrectly.

What can be observed here is that we are trying to equate "sex with someone else" as a "horn" when it is just a "physical act".
The physical act within itself is not wrong. It is the nature of a physical act which makes it wrong.
To understand the nature of a physical act we must know the definition of that physical act and recognize the intentions behind the physical act.
Only then can we label it as right or wrong.
Now that (I'm hoping) we know the nature of a physical act by reason of elimination & can thus classify it as a horn we can now attempt to recognize the intention of the physical act.
One may ask how do you recognize the intention of a physical act.
The answer is simple. When faced with multiple choices we can choose either "yes" or "no". The "mental act" of choosing when given choices is how we determine intention.
So the question now becomes what were the choices you thought you had & which one did you choose.

If your other half can reason that you thought you had the choice of breaking some sort of sexually intimate promise you both made to each other as opposed to not breaking it at all & you "chose" to break it, then from their perspective what you did was wrong (if it is true)
If however you do not believe you had given any consideration to the act as a choice between breaking that promise or not then it's not wrong (from your perspective). If the thought never occurred to you that it was wrong then it means the choice never presented itself in your mind.
How can you be held responsible for choosing something if you never considered it as an option in the first place. They keyword here is "considered"
An act can be "intentionally inconsiderate" or "intentionally considerate".
Neither of which are right or wrong unless the person it was done to can justify why they were emotionally/physically hurt (feeling betrayed, got aids, etc)
That does not mean you shouldn't apologize if your actions hurt someone regardless of your intentional consideration/inconsideration. If someone can justify an emotional or physical hurt because of something you did then you should apologize if you wish to improve their well being.
If your looking for forgiveness then you should know what your apologizing for and let them know this too.

So if you got caught and were "accused" of "horning" you can make the argument that:

THE HORNER MAN'S SALVATION

"Baby, Im sorry. I know it was inconsiderate but I didn't intentionally mean to hurt you. I don't believe what I did was totally wrong because my intentions weren't to betray you. I know it was inconsiderate & I promise to make a conscious effort to be more considerate to our promises in the future. If you still believe it was my intention to hurt you then you are truly better off without me, but if deep down inside you believe I'm telling the truth about my intentions maybe some day you will forgive me & we can both be happy once again"

Yea it works, the first few times. After that it's no longer a question of you being inconsiderate or not. We question wether they honestly promised to be considerate in the first place.

There are 2 types of subjective wrongs to be considered.
1. Intentionally inconsiderate. Didn't do it to hurt you.
2. Intentionally considerate. Meant to hurt you. Vengeful or Hateful.

Questions:

Why is it more hurtful to us when our loved ones are inconsiderate as opposed to a stranger being inconsiderate?
Why is an intention to hurt someone for being inconsiderate called revenge?
If someone hurt you by being inconsiderate, how is it getting even by intentionally hurting them back?

[Kalisnakov]

Huh

[uncle sam]

I think once it isn't physically, then it isn't adultery but lusting over someone else is 90% as bad imo.

[The_Honourable]

There are no good or valid reasons to horn by both sexes, it's an immature move no matter what the situation is. Better to end the relationship and start something new.

[cherrypopper]

A crime of passion gets a lower penalty than a premeditated murder. ..

[10-01]

op a question , if u go to a strip club , have a few beers and a lap dance is that a horn or entertainment ?

[desifemlove]

Yes, it wrong. cos yuh have a committment.

but then cheating is normal, cos humans ent monogamous.

I doh tink we a s a species is naturally monogamous or polygamous. Cheating proves humans ent geared to stay wit one woman for life. Jus ting Catholics/the Pope said long ago to push agendas.

Cheating would be less wrong if we didn't insist on monogamy.

And no crap about lusting in de mind is wrong.....no hetero man would NOT tink ting if he seeing a ting with nice boobs, body or face. If God exists, kind of stupid he create humans this way as natural and then say in de Bible it wrong.

[daron]

Friends both in relationships, do it just for the fun of doing it is that wrong ?

[desifemlove]

I think once it isn't physically, then it isn't adultery but lusting over someone else is 90% as bad imo.

if yuh brother has wife wit bess boobs, and you have wife wit bess arse, and yuh never touch each others' respective ting, this is still wrong? thought is as bad as action?

[Daran]

Even you get older and if your girl is more mature, she'll admit women are very attractive and that she was wrong for getting vex when you watch because she will confess that she watches too.

You'll then have a wife or girl who is bisexual and threesomes will be imminent.

This isn't a joke, the number of bisexual women I know in their 30s right here in trinidad is staggering. The common factor with then all is that they all have high sex drives and aren't religious or closed minded.

[MD Marketers]

Let's get some definitions out of the way first.

Adultery:

Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and A person who is not his or her spouse

Right:

Morally good, justified or acceptable

Wrong

Unjust, dishonest or immoral

Intent

Resolved or determined to do something

Act

Behave in the way specified.
Or
A thing done, a deed

Horn

It's a slang that originated from the word "cuckold horns" Please read here for more info http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuckold
"Cuckold Horns" is a slang that refers to the shame of a man whose wife has committed adultery
The meaning eventually evolved & was applied to both sexes
It then further evolved to premarital relationships not limited to gender
The words were then evolved into one word "horn"
Therefore the slang "horn" simply means "having consented sex outside of your relationship"

[uncle sam]

I think once it isn't physically, then it isn't adultery but lusting over someone else is 90% as bad imo.

if yuh brother has wife wit bess boobs, and you have wife wit bess arse, and yuh never touch each others' respective ting, this is still wrong? thought is as bad as action?

I don't fully understand what ur trying to say but I guess it's something like is it okay to watch your brothers wife ass or boobs. I must notice big ass and boobs, i'm not blind but I wouldn't want to feel them up in a sexual manner. I wouldn't do that with even a friend's wife, much less my brother.
So if every time u have sex with your wife she is thinking that she's taking prcik from the neighbour, is this okay?

[brams112]

When ur horning remember the world spins.

[MD Marketers]

There are no good or valid reasons to horn by both sexes, it's an immature move no matter what the situation is. Better to end the relationship and start something new.

If it meets the requirements to be classed as a horn then it's wrong, but why is it better to end the relationship & start something new?
What about weighing the factors involved before making a decision to end it?
Why is the mental act of being inconsiderate resulting in an emotional hurt that bad that it warrants such a reaction?
I'm not saying that it isn't.
I'm just asking what is a valid reason for wanting to end it other than "you want to end it".
Is it revenge?
Is it stress?
Is it inconvenience?
Is it other factors not related to the horn?
Has your physical well being been affected in any way?
If it's purely emotional then the reason for leaving isn't something real. It's some rule you both made up that got broken.
If breaking a promise is the only wrong thing here then why don't you leave each time they break a promise?
Is leaving an emotionally empowering tool that will give you back the power you lost when they broke your rules?
I understand that rules are guidelines we agree to, but how do you determine the repercussions?
Is the repercussions chosen simply because you make them up absent real reasons?
In that case "it's better to end it and start something new" not because it's better, but because you said so.

[shogun]

Not wrong. It's a personal morality issue and/or issue between two individuals who agreed to exclusivity.

Men and women "horn" for different reasons. Usually men horn out of opportunity for sex, whereas women build an emotional attachment to someone else, which develops into a sexual relationship.

I have a friend that's in a relationship who recently started a platonic relationship with a girl (who is also in a relationship) and even though there is no sexual relationship yet, he can tell the female wants it to go there. Ball is in his court... so to speak. I'd call that "horning" on her part, even though there's no sexual relationship, yet.

[rollingstock]

Op puts too much thought into these beta posts

[MD Marketers]

Op puts too much thought into these beta posts

Don't worry it gets refined over time.
Call it open source knowledge if you want.
It's meant to be improved on by everyone's logical inputs until we get it right.

[Slartibartfast]

Friends both in relationships, do it just for the fun of doing it is that wrong ?

Depends on the understanding between you and your SO. I know some fellas cool with their girl flexin on other fellas for carnival and they taking flex from other girls cuz they just having a good time. Other couples might only dance around with people that they know. Other would only dance around with eachother.

Here is how you determine if it is wrong or not. Would you tell your SO about the lap dance?
If "Yeah, no scene, she nuh go beat up" - Then there is nothing wrong with it
If "Nah, like yuh want a man to get kick out orr" - Then it is wrong
If "I wouldn't bother cuz I'm not sure how she will take it" - Then it is still wrong.

Basically, if it is something you have to hide from your SO then it is most likely wrong

[mark2.0]

A horn is a horn only wen yuh take it on. Otherwise it's just a bull just past.

[Sundar]

you all fail to realize this kinda lifestyle is what we see and read about and hear in music so how can it not be instilled in our minds like programming. then again human nature since we are born in sin? correct me please

[desifemlove]

I think once it isn't physically, then it isn't adultery but lusting over someone else is 90% as bad imo.

if yuh brother has wife wit bess boobs, and you have wife wit bess arse, and yuh never touch each others' respective ting, this is still wrong? thought is as bad as action?

I don't fully understand what ur trying to say but I guess it's something like is it okay to watch your brothers wife ass or boobs. I must notice big ass and boobs, i'm not blind but I wouldn't want to feel them up in a sexual manner. I wouldn't do that with even a friend's wife, much less my brother.
So if every time u have sex with your wife she is thinking that she's taking prcik from the neighbour, is this okay?

Just asking, since thinking of sex is not imho same as the actual deed.

[uncle sam]

^ that's why I said 90% as bad

[toyota2nr]

To answer OP's original question: None of the above.

Do what makes you happy/ comfortable. That may seem inconsiderate to some of you but consider for a moment that not everyone is in a position to leave. Many people are caught in a relationship with committments that cannot be adjusted so easily (children, mortgage etc).

Counselling doesn't work for everyone either.

For those who bring up the issue of morality which version of morality? Who decides what is moral?

[desifemlove]

If two agree to a relationship, then it ent on,

[Slartibartfast]

^ that's why I said 90% as bad

So peltin a rounds is 95% as bad? You thinking about it and you acting it out. All you missing is the other person.

[uncle sam]

^ that's why I said 90% as bad

So peltin a rounds is 95% as bad? You thinking about it and you acting it out. All you missing is the other person.

well according to your morals. Remember horning goes both ways eh. What if your wife masturbates over your brother? Yes it doesn't affect you directly, but I'm sure if you found out you wouldn't feel good about it.

[Slartibartfast]

Lol, so no internet access? Hard times

[desifemlove]

^ that's why I said 90% as bad

So peltin a rounds is 95% as bad? You thinking about it and you acting it out. All you missing is the other person.

well according to your morals. Remember horning goes both ways eh. What if your wife masturbates over your brother? Yes it doesn't affect you directly, but I'm sure if you found out you wouldn't feel good about it.

so why agree to get married or date? seems you legitimising dishonesty.

[uncle sam]

You got that from that? Wow

[desifemlove]

i just providing a point in this discussion.