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Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

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aaron17
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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby aaron17 » December 8th, 2021, 8:41 am

Jus thinking and writing about this making me think negative..

Idk what to do again nah..:/

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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby aaron17 » December 8th, 2021, 8:46 am

.....

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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby timelapse » December 8th, 2021, 9:11 am

If you have some extra $ and a doctor that willing to help you, get a blood test done including hormones , testosterone especially

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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby Dohplaydat » December 8th, 2021, 9:51 am

Aaron you NEED to learn to relax and let go. To me it seems like you're idle and bored with life, and when that happens you get obsessed and down into weird tangents.

A change of scenery helps a lot. But ultimately you need to figure out (by trained professionals) if you have a chemical imbalance (clinical depression) or if it's your circumstances.

My advice is to try most of the following:
1. Get a job or volunteer in something that makes you feel purpose
2. Get a dog
3. Get out in nature more, hike, beach, tobago, savannah etc.
4. Exercise both in gym and cardio
5. Read more books
6. Stay off social media if it affects you.
7. Spend time with friends, honestly, covid has really messed this up and whatsapp isn't the same, but try to get out and socialize

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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby aaron17 » December 8th, 2021, 10:00 am

Good points ... i have no friends.
75 percent of my day to day is being alone.
It dropped even more with covid.

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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby timelapse » December 8th, 2021, 10:23 am

aaron17 wrote:Good points ... i have no friends.
75 percent of my day to day is being alone.
It dropped even more with covid.
If I may be so fass.What happened to the gf?

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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby aaron17 » December 8th, 2021, 10:28 am

bruhhhh

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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby MaxPower » December 8th, 2021, 10:48 am

Good morning aaron,

There is so much more to life bro but we cannot let the challenging and hard times bring us down.

I know you are strong, i can hear it in your words.

Don’t give up aaron.

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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby st7 » December 8th, 2021, 10:49 am

dude it's good you letting it out. that in itself is supposed to be therapeutic. whatever it is you're going thru, we all go thru it too.

getting a pet helps. i have a friend who had it worse off and when she got her dog, it changed her for the better. animals tend to be our emotional support buddies without realising it. and a dog will love you forever so that's a plus.

do you like star wars, mcu stuff etc? there's a local star wars discord group that does watch parties every week and discussing the latest news with mcu+dc+other cool things with tv, movies, etc. it's kinda a nerd haven lol

if you wanna join, lemme know.

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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby Rovin » December 8th, 2021, 10:50 am

aaron17 wrote:
Rovin wrote:i am glad to see strangers\tuners here helping out each other not just for cars\tools\construction\computer etc stuff but on a personal level too

hobbies actually help alot to take lifes daily stress away, cud be a simple thing like already mentioned watching sitcoms\tv series\movies or for me watching educational stuff on youtube

in addition to what everybody already said i would advise getting a pet like a cat or a dog, believe me after whatever hard day u had or whatever u going thru & u come home they gonna greet\appreciate u more than humans will & that helps u to de-stress a ton ...
We use to have cats..but our family saw it as a burden and when it is their time to go..they dont want to feel the pain and sadness.


i hear u , i have cats since i was a child , they can average 10-12yrs , longer that that is rare ... look at it like relatives : nobody gonna be around forever but at least u can fill d void left from a previous pet with a new pet, not that u will forget d previous happy memories since i can still recall each dog\cat we had over d yrs

so far i dont see anything way out of usual with u , u just describe most typical ppl who just dont let stuff out & keep it hidden .... :|
Last edited by Rovin on December 8th, 2021, 2:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby matr1x » December 8th, 2021, 10:52 am

Dohplaydat wrote:
matr1x wrote:In all fairness, what about life is really worth living?


Frivolous crap like marriage and children are not real things which keep your life rich and interesting. Finding a purpose to live that's not dependent on another to keep you happy is the first step


You think human connection is frivolous? I think (at least for me) those are the most important things for happiness. That and finding purpose with your life, which is what I believe you're referring too.

However, it's easy to forget in these Covid times that we are social animals and we (at least most of us) do find comfort in friendships, family and partners.



Human interaction is important. But especially in isolated times, you need to have purpose outside of that

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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby aaron17 » December 8th, 2021, 11:13 am

st7 wrote:dude it's good you letting it out. that in itself is supposed to be therapeutic. whatever it is you're going thru, we all go thru it too.

getting a pet helps. i have a friend who had it worse off and when she got her dog, it changed her for the better. animals tend to be our emotional support buddies without realising it. and a dog will love you forever so that's a plus.

do you like star wars, mcu stuff etc? there's a local star wars discord group that does watch parties every week and discussing the latest news with mcu+dc+other cool things with tv, movies, etc. it's kinda a nerd haven lol

if you wanna join, lemme know.


i liked MCU..last time was endgame ..that was the endgame for me in Marvel. ALways liked TDK trilogy and Nolan stuff. Movies has replaced with you tube vids. The only thing recently I got back watching was Seinfeld. I havent thought of a time i sit down with popcorn enjoying a 3 hour movie.. i guess only endgame.
After endgame was some movies trickle down here and there...Saving private ryan , war movies but tinking about that seems depressing.
I should go back and start watching back rush hour and ole school comedies like that. It seems better when there are ppl around enjoying the same movies...idk

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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby aaron17 » December 8th, 2021, 11:18 am

But really and truely ..when I make music or listen to that type of genre I like ..i feel a sense of euphoria like never before . I should go back in the saddle .. Idk why i stopped...i guess the negative effects of the pandemic

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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby aaron17 » December 8th, 2021, 11:23 am

matr1x wrote:
Dohplaydat wrote:
matr1x wrote:In all fairness, what about life is really worth living?


Frivolous crap like marriage and children are not real things which keep your life rich and interesting. Finding a purpose to live that's not dependent on another to keep you happy is the first step


You think human connection is frivolous? I think (at least for me) those are the most important things for happiness. That and finding purpose with your life, which is what I believe you're referring too.

However, it's easy to forget in these Covid times that we are social animals and we (at least most of us) do find comfort in friendships, family and partners.



Human interaction is important. But especially in isolated times, you need to have purpose outside of that


very interesting...

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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby timelapse » December 8th, 2021, 11:26 am

aaron17 wrote:But really and truely ..when I make music or listen to that type of genre I like ..i feel a sense of euphoria like never before . I should go back in the saddle .. Idk why i stopped...i guess the negative effects of the pandemic
Hoss, make music.Make plenty music.Post up some tracks and whether anybody likes it or not is irrelevant,as long as it tells your story.

I working on a whole album right now.Real Satanic stuff ,but I don't care who thinks what about it.Industrial goth metal is the soundtrack to my life.Collab some day if you interested in that sort of thing.

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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby aaron17 » December 8th, 2021, 11:27 am

timelapse wrote:
aaron17 wrote:But really and truely ..when I make music or listen to that type of genre I like ..i feel a sense of euphoria like never before . I should go back in the saddle .. Idk why i stopped...i guess the negative effects of the pandemic
Hoss, make music.Make plenty music.Post up some tracks and whether anybody likes it or not is irrelevant,as long as it tells your story.

I working on a whole album right now.Real Satanic stuff ,but I don't care who thinks what about it.Industrial goth metal is the soundtrack to my life.Collab some day if you interested in that sort of thing.


yea a while now, i was posting the on the music thread

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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby widdyphuck » December 8th, 2021, 12:01 pm

aaron17 wrote:
timelapse wrote:
aaron17 wrote:But really and truely ..when I make music or listen to that type of genre I like ..i feel a sense of euphoria like never before . I should go back in the saddle .. Idk why i stopped...i guess the negative effects of the pandemic
Hoss, make music.Make plenty music.Post up some tracks and whether anybody likes it or not is irrelevant,as long as it tells your story.

I working on a whole album right now.Real Satanic stuff ,but I don't care who thinks what about it.Industrial goth metal is the soundtrack to my life.Collab some day if you interested in that sort of thing.


yea a while now, i was posting the on the music thread
Bro this life is too short to take any sheit seriously.
Go with the flow.
Stop looking back.

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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby FrankChag » December 8th, 2021, 12:17 pm

aaron17 wrote:.


Aaron,

"Coping" is something we ALL need help with from time to time. And it's normal. So nothing is wrong with asking (directly or indirectly) for help from someone. That help to cope comes through your support mechanisms. I hear you saying that some of your coping mechanisms are not as strong as you like right now. That happens.

You should first realize that you are your first support mechanism, and pull yourself up by your own bootstraps. "Not today sadness, not today" is a good affirmative phrase.

Then look at your supports: your family, your friends, your social circles. I'm hearing you saying that you believe these could be improved right now. I don't know more about you, but you should try improving these: reach out to family and friends; make a small lime; go to your church or masjid; make an appointment with a psychologist and have a chat; It might be rough, I know, but try. About social media (including forums): you should not consider us as your support group, unless you know someone personally. Forum users, ppl on twitter, etc are very fickle and can erode your progress.

It may sound corny, and I don't know what your belief system is, but you should also try to (re)establish your connection with your Creator, and seek His Guidance and Forgiveness.

I hope for you also that you should also get married if you're not. I can assure you, with all the stresses that come with marriage, it's more than worth it as a form of support.

Finally, to help you recognize what you're feeling, to help with your coping:
- sadness is caused by pondering on the past
- stress/anxiety is caused by pondering on the present
- worry is caused by pondering on the future.

Be mindful of what you're feeling. It's your first defense against those feelings.

"Not today sadness/stress/anxiety/worry .. Not today."


Hope some or all of this helps,

~FC

PS, for the Muslims:

There are duas for sadness, stress, anxiety and worry:
https://ahadith.co.uk/hisnulmuslim-dua-34
https://imgur.com/a/txWWqSA (dua)





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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby st7 » December 8th, 2021, 12:17 pm

aaron17 wrote:
st7 wrote:dude it's good you letting it out. that in itself is supposed to be therapeutic. whatever it is you're going thru, we all go thru it too.

getting a pet helps. i have a friend who had it worse off and when she got her dog, it changed her for the better. animals tend to be our emotional support buddies without realising it. and a dog will love you forever so that's a plus.

do you like star wars, mcu stuff etc? there's a local star wars discord group that does watch parties every week and discussing the latest news with mcu+dc+other cool things with tv, movies, etc. it's kinda a nerd haven lol

if you wanna join, lemme know.


i liked MCU..last time was endgame ..that was the endgame for me in Marvel. ALways liked TDK trilogy and Nolan stuff. Movies has replaced with you tube vids. The only thing recently I got back watching was Seinfeld. I havent thought of a time i sit down with popcorn enjoying a 3 hour movie.. i guess only endgame.
After endgame was some movies trickle down here and there...Saving private ryan , war movies but tinking about that seems depressing.
I should go back and start watching back rush hour and ole school comedies like that. It seems better when there are ppl around enjoying the same movies...idk


yeah, idk if you would be into watch parties... i mean the people are virtually there but they interact in the chat while watching. they've been watching Demonslayer on mondays, mcu tv + star wars tv shows on thursdays. i think they're doing christmas movies too

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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby st7 » December 8th, 2021, 12:18 pm

timelapse wrote:
aaron17 wrote:But really and truely ..when I make music or listen to that type of genre I like ..i feel a sense of euphoria like never before . I should go back in the saddle .. Idk why i stopped...i guess the negative effects of the pandemic
Hoss, make music.Make plenty music.Post up some tracks and whether anybody likes it or not is irrelevant,as long as it tells your story.

I working on a whole album right now.Real Satanic stuff ,but I don't care who thinks what about it.Industrial goth metal is the soundtrack to my life.Collab some day if you interested in that sort of thing.


haha... what DAW are you using?

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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby KM_2NR » December 8th, 2021, 12:24 pm

st7 wrote:
timelapse wrote:
aaron17 wrote:But really and truely ..when I make music or listen to that type of genre I like ..i feel a sense of euphoria like never before . I should go back in the saddle .. Idk why i stopped...i guess the negative effects of the pandemic
Hoss, make music.Make plenty music.Post up some tracks and whether anybody likes it or not is irrelevant,as long as it tells your story.

I working on a whole album right now.Real Satanic stuff ,but I don't care who thinks what about it.Industrial goth metal is the soundtrack to my life.Collab some day if you interested in that sort of thing.


haha... what DAW are you using?


I know you didn't ask but i use reaper. Tuner should have a mix tape. Guess i'm not the only one recording a bedroom album . Anyone wanna collab inbox.

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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby aaron17 » December 8th, 2021, 12:25 pm

FrankChag wrote:
aaron17 wrote:.


Aaron,

"Coping" is something we ALL need help with from time to time. And it's normal. So nothing is wrong with asking (directly or indirectly) for help from someone. That help to cope comes through your support mechanisms. I hear you saying that some of your coping mechanisms are not as strong as you like right now. That happens.

You should first realize that you are your first support mechanism, and pull yourself up by your own bootstraps. "Not today sadness, not today" is a good affirmative phrase.

Then look at your supports: your family, your friends, your social circles. I'm hearing you saying that you believe these could be improved right now. I don't know more about you, but you should try improving these: reach out to family and friends; make a small lime; go to your church or masjid; make an appointment with a psychologist and have a chat; It might be rough, I know, but try. About social media (including forums): you should not consider us as your support group, unless you know someone personally. Forum users, ppl on twitter, etc are very fickle and can erode your progress.

It may sound corny, and I don't know what your belief system is, but you should also try to (re)establish your connection with your Creator, and seek His Guidance and Forgiveness.

I hope for you also that you should also get married if you're not. I can assure you, with all the stresses that come with marriage, it's more than worth it as a form of support.

Finally, to help you recognize what you're feeling, to help with your coping:
- sadness is caused by pondering on the past
- stress/anxiety is caused by pondering on the present
- worry is caused by pondering on the future.

Be mindful of what you're feeling. It's your first defense against those feelings.

"Not today sadness/stress/anxiety/worry .. Not today."


Hope some or all of this helps,

~FC

PS, for the Muslims:

There are duas for sadness, stress, anxiety and worry:
https://ahadith.co.uk/hisnulmuslim-dua-34
https://imgur.com/a/txWWqSA (dua)





thanks..gotta get back in touch with God. ..the pandemic jus hindering plenty socialization...I am just restrictive. Just afraid of the virus ..so I just hide from everybody...but it taking a toll on me. I just can't be in my own place and talk to God only. I need to have good and healthy interaction with the right crowd. Again the pandemic is hindering everything. Can't even go to visit families soo..cause i dont want to be blame for spreading and killin them.... too much thing going on in my head.....

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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby st7 » December 8th, 2021, 12:40 pm

KM_2NR wrote:
st7 wrote:
timelapse wrote:
aaron17 wrote:But really and truely ..when I make music or listen to that type of genre I like ..i feel a sense of euphoria like never before . I should go back in the saddle .. Idk why i stopped...i guess the negative effects of the pandemic
Hoss, make music.Make plenty music.Post up some tracks and whether anybody likes it or not is irrelevant,as long as it tells your story.

I working on a whole album right now.Real Satanic stuff ,but I don't care who thinks what about it.Industrial goth metal is the soundtrack to my life.Collab some day if you interested in that sort of thing.


haha... what DAW are you using?


I know you didn't ask but i use reaper. Tuner should have a mix tape. Guess i'm not the only one recording a bedroom album . Anyone wanna collab inbox.


i'm using StudioOne... recommended by a padna who uses it, and i bug him whenever i need help with something lol

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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby KM_2NR » December 8th, 2021, 12:43 pm

st7 wrote:
KM_2NR wrote:
st7 wrote:
timelapse wrote:
aaron17 wrote:But really and truely ..when I make music or listen to that type of genre I like ..i feel a sense of euphoria like never before . I should go back in the saddle .. Idk why i stopped...i guess the negative effects of the pandemic
Hoss, make music.Make plenty music.Post up some tracks and whether anybody likes it or not is irrelevant,as long as it tells your story.

I working on a whole album right now.Real Satanic stuff ,but I don't care who thinks what about it.Industrial goth metal is the soundtrack to my life.Collab some day if you interested in that sort of thing.


haha... what DAW are you using?


I know you didn't ask but i use reaper. Tuner should have a mix tape. Guess i'm not the only one recording a bedroom album . Anyone wanna collab inbox.


i'm using StudioOne... recommended by a padna who uses it, and i bug him whenever i need help with something lol


I have a copy of studio one to utilize when I bought my presonus studio monitors. Is it any good? I really find reaper is the most user friendly. I download a pirate copy of fab pro filter 3 and liking myself with EQ these days , really makes a track sound more refined and professional. I mostly play guitar.

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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby nick639v2 » December 8th, 2021, 12:47 pm

KM_2NR wrote:
st7 wrote:
KM_2NR wrote:
st7 wrote:
timelapse wrote:
aaron17 wrote:But really and truely ..when I make music or listen to that type of genre I like ..i feel a sense of euphoria like never before . I should go back in the saddle .. Idk why i stopped...i guess the negative effects of the pandemic
Hoss, make music.Make plenty music.Post up some tracks and whether anybody likes it or not is irrelevant,as long as it tells your story.

I working on a whole album right now.Real Satanic stuff ,but I don't care who thinks what about it.Industrial goth metal is the soundtrack to my life.Collab some day if you interested in that sort of thing.


haha... what DAW are you using?


I know you didn't ask but i use reaper. Tuner should have a mix tape. Guess i'm not the only one recording a bedroom album . Anyone wanna collab inbox.


i'm using StudioOne... recommended by a padna who uses it, and i bug him whenever i need help with something lol


I have a copy of studio one to utilize when I bought my presonus studio monitors. Is it any good? I really find reaper is the most user friendly. I download a pirate copy of fab pro filter 3 and liking myself with EQ these days , really makes a track sound more refined and professional. I mostly play guitar.
Excellent choice of speakers there. I wanna do a pair and sub in my bedroom myself

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aaron17
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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby aaron17 » December 8th, 2021, 12:48 pm

I have propellorhead reason 2010. Still going strong even if it have limitations.

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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby KM_2NR » December 8th, 2021, 12:50 pm

nick639v2 wrote:
KM_2NR wrote:
st7 wrote:
KM_2NR wrote:
st7 wrote:
timelapse wrote:
aaron17 wrote:But really and truely ..when I make music or listen to that type of genre I like ..i feel a sense of euphoria like never before . I should go back in the saddle .. Idk why i stopped...i guess the negative effects of the pandemic
Hoss, make music.Make plenty music.Post up some tracks and whether anybody likes it or not is irrelevant,as long as it tells your story.

I working on a whole album right now.Real Satanic stuff ,but I don't care who thinks what about it.Industrial goth metal is the soundtrack to my life.Collab some day if you interested in that sort of thing.


haha... what DAW are you using?


I know you didn't ask but i use reaper. Tuner should have a mix tape. Guess i'm not the only one recording a bedroom album . Anyone wanna collab inbox.


i'm using StudioOne... recommended by a padna who uses it, and i bug him whenever i need help with something lol


I have a copy of studio one to utilize when I bought my presonus studio monitors. Is it any good? I really find reaper is the most user friendly. I download a pirate copy of fab pro filter 3 and liking myself with EQ these days , really makes a track sound more refined and professional. I mostly play guitar.
Excellent choice of speakers there. I wanna do a pair and sub in my bedroom myself


I got the Eris 3.5 BT , its small but effective . Wanna eventually upgrade to larger monitors but monitors are pretty essential for mixing and mastering in my opinion , only when i got it then i realized the difference it make , was recording on silly logitech speakers before and everything was too bass heavy. My only gripe about the monitors is that they occasionally have some minor humming but it can removed with EQ

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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby st7 » December 8th, 2021, 12:57 pm

i created a separate ched for it fellas :D
viewtopic.php?f=4&t=765294

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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby matr1x » December 8th, 2021, 2:35 pm

Suicide hotline is a barometer of this country

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Re: Matthew called suicide hotline: No one answered. He killed himself

Postby aaron17 » December 9th, 2021, 8:24 am

When I am positive....I create music that heightens my happiness. The sounds further bring me up to higher bliss...like a high feeling. I guess the pandemic and ppl dying of this virus made my levels go way down and hence thinking i would not produce good music.. and all the negativity came back from my past, loniliness etc...if u understand what I am saying . My true emotions have been translated towards my music.

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