Ratch thread

[ismithx]

Biggest ratch? Use 2NR on this.

*crickets*

[shogun]

'd hell! are those plastic nail anchors?...the green thingies?

[megadoc1]

ratch yuh say eh
it have tuners dong in diego, could tell yuh how to get "sagicor" insurance
try to top that nah

[iM@st@1]

Fashion




De phoq is dat

[Strugglerzinc]

'd hell! are those plastic nail anchors?...the green thingies?

Nope. Plastic Screw anchors. Long story.

[ruffneck_12]

Fashion




De phoq is dat

Fasshhhun wiff added fyahz

[stev]

ruffneck own d thread yes.

[shogun]

'd hell! are those plastic nail anchors?...the green thingies?

Nope. Plastic Screw anchors. Long story.

well. at least you have slightly less cooling issues, with that build.

[Sky]

For the IT fellas:

On a voice / data installation for a customer who shall remain nameless for now. On their opening day all the voice connections failed. I had to pull a pair out of all the data cables and use that for their voice systems. All this while their CEO was cutting ribbon to open to the public.

Last I heard they wanted to run IP phones off of that. Good luck lol.

On an offshore platform I run a wireless system to get data and voice out there. But
I had the antenna on the boom, while the switch was in a portacamp on the helideck.
They were drilling on that platform and sliding around the helideck so I tell them gimme a 2 weeks notice and i'll handle the scene. I was on bereavement for about a week and they had to slide the helideck. As stated in the beat up ched of the year, drilling waits on no one. Dem men slide the deck and buss the cat5 with the main feed back to land. As soon as I went back out I went offshore to crimp over for them. What I find? The cat5 with a knot of electrical tape the size of a tennis ball. Their complaint now was that it was dropping too much, and if i could fix that. Someone actually sit and connect back the wires like they were installing an alarm. I don'tblame them though, they needed teh internets.

[shogun]

^necessity is truly the mother of invention.

[qwerty]

i remember the good old days when i was a teenager and there was a sunday when me and my elder brother and cousin went to maracas with my elder brother's friend in a datsun 120y. boy, wen ah went in the vehicle, i saw a big 4gallon keg in the front passenger foot compartment half filled with gas...lol...somehow the gas tank was condemed by the watless driver..
anyway while driving along the hills and negotiating those bends, the car kept bucking and cutting off cause the gas in the keg was swaying wit the curbs and the suction hose in the keg was unable to reach the gas...talk about kix and shame along dem hills..
anyway it gets better..i rember somewhere along the hills we shut down, and when we popped the bonnet, gas was leaking considerably ample by somewhere near the carburator and the driver (brothers pathner) exclaimed: "we hah tuh save dah gas yes"
so meh cousin replied: "how d fcuk uh goin and ketch dah gas boy?"
driver replied: "doh wory we go work out something!"
next thing uh kno i see d driver cutting a cokes bottle in half and somehow he manage to bore two holes. lmao
he and all of us surround the engine and we rel laffing and feeling shame...d man watch us and exclaimed: "doh wory.,we does do dis!!"
he then said: "allyuh geh two string."
my brother replied: "it in hah no fcukin string here boy"

NEXT THING I KNO IS D MAN TWANGING TWO LONG STRINGS FROM THE CARPET MAT AND HE COME BACK BY THE BONNET WIT IT TO SUSPEND THE COKES BOTTLE UNDER THE GAS LEAK...AH DEAD WIT LAFF AND SHAME YES..
HE MANAGED TO SUSPEND IT UNDER THE LEAK and i guess it swayed like a pendulum through them bends...i say no more
talk about ratch.....

[ismithx]

i foresee this ched reaching > 50 pages, filled with epic stories such as the one above...

[slypher]

i remember the good old days when i was a teenager and there was a sunday when me and my elder brother and cousin went to maracas with my elder brother's friend in a datsun 120y. boy, wen ah went in the vehicle, i saw a big 4gallon keg in the front passenger foot compartment half filled with gas...lol...somehow the gas tank was condemed by the watless driver..
anyway while driving along the hills and negotiating those bends, the car kept bucking and cutting off cause the gas in the keg was swaying wit the curbs and the suction hose in the keg was unable to reach the gas...talk about kix and shame along dem hills..
anyway it gets better..i rember somewhere along the hills we shut down, and when we popped the bonnet, gas was leaking considerably ample by somewhere near the carburator and the driver (brothers pathner) exclaimed: "we hah tuh save dah gas yes"
so meh cousin replied: "how d fcuk uh goin and ketch dah gas boy?"
driver replied: "doh wory we go work out something!"
next thing uh kno i see d driver cutting a cokes bottle in half and somehow he manage to bore two holes. lmao
he and all of us surround the engine and we rel laffing and feeling shame...d man watch us and exclaimed: "doh wory.,we does do dis!!"
he then said: "allyuh geh two string."
my brother replied: "it in hah no fcukin string here boy"

NEXT THING I KNO IS D MAN TWANGING TWO LONG STRINGS FROM THE CARPET MAT AND HE COME BACK BY THE BONNET WIT IT TO SUSPEND THE COKES BOTTLE UNDER THE GAS LEAK...AH DEAD WIT LAFF AND SHAME YES..
HE MANAGED TO SUSPEND IT UNDER THE LEAK and i guess it swayed like a pendulum through them bends...i say no more
talk about ratch.....

twanging strings uh say!!

[silver]

there was this one time the river came down and obstructed the way, preventing everything from pedestrians to vehicles and the like from getting to the other side...that was.. except for fisherman and fisheroman...dey had a ratch to get across, cuz dey unnerstan it
*trollface*

[silver]

ok for real..

One of my first cars (80's Madza 626) I had change the gasket around meh exhaust manifold, but i din tighten it back properly so when i drivin d air escaping and making a loud rattling noise as d gasket flapping...by d time i reach home..look like d manifold warp so it cyah tighten properly...it was level epoxy...
that held for about 2 days an den it start to flap again...i buy 2 more gasket to make up d sapce and replace it, adding copious amounts of gasket sealer as well. Not epic i know..buh is my story

[shogun]

ROFL! @ querty...them fellas inventing ratch for they ratch.

[zach51]

^^ x2
rel ratch boy
allyuh beat back d license office qwerty allyuh eh easy

[X_Factor]

i wont say its a big ratch but
about 1yr ago we went up shark river, new bottle of JWB resting in a big basin...dotish cuz playing the arse pelting stone at us, well one hit the bottle and cracked it, basin filled with jwb and broken glass
we strained it twice using our t shirt and started drinking...couldnt let that waste!

[jonathanpolo509]

well my zip strip in my favorite jeans so i staple it up..n bend paper clips to hold it together.

so wha happened when yuh wha buss ah hot piss or sheit

[d spike]

Had distributor problems in the bush. Somehow managed to lose the carbon contact with spring in the fading light. When I gave up searching for the dang thing, I cut open an Eveready dry-cell battery, took out the carbon core, whittled it down to size, then broke open a push-to-open type of ball-point pen, took out the spring, trimmed it to the right length, fixed it onto the piece of carbon, and shoved it up into the distributor top. It worked fine, until I replaced it with a proper unit a few weeks later...

...that I nicked from a discarded car on the side of the road...

...outside a scrap yard...

[d spike]

When loggers destroyed the road home, I had to get a way to get home. I also needed to transport materials through one and a half miles of axle-deep mud and clay.
I got a Datsun 720 pick-up, stripped it down to chassis, drivetrain and suspension. The tray (for want of a more accurate word which might border on the obscene - but then, so did the tray) was lightened, and a frame was mounted forward (glibly referred to as a roll-cage). This frame provided a work platform on which were mounted a seat, toolbox, a tiny instrument panel, and protected the engine from 'bush-lash'.

I abandoned the steering column shifter and instead ran two gear levers through the floor attached directly to the two shift-arms on the gearbox. An open-minded person, aware of how a 720 gearbox works, would understand how easy this system could operate. One stick was low/high gear and the other was low/high range. 1st and 2nd were in the low range, 3rd and 4th were in the high range. However, most people who saw this vehicle, were either not acquainted with 720 gearboxes, or not open-minded, and viewed the contraption with alarm. The "forest-used" was the most favourable name - I won't print the others.

Apart from windshield wipers (duh) everything else worked : lights, front and rear (front lights were fogs, rear lights mounted on the 'roll bar'), horn. She had a seatbelt and a fire extinguisher (mounted forward), radio and a CB set.

The additional power gained from no longer having to drag around excess weight, and the 720's fantastic low 1st gear enabled me to use her like a tractor, dragging logs (and Betsy, my 120y, who got stuck or slid off the road with alarming frequency). The stripped 720 shared a battery and alternator with Betsy, so rescuing Betsy involved walking home, battery in one hand, alternator in the next, tools in a pocket; bring the 720 to Betsy, drag her out; take the 720 home; walk back to Betsy with battery and alternator; install and go home - more carefully this time.

Even though the frame had some flaws due to how it was welded (if you let "professionals" tell you that your ideas are inferior to theirs, but they can't explain why, then you look for whatever they give you), I loved this machine. Then one dry season, I converted a storeroom at the base of a hill below the house into a garage. This worked well until the rains came. The hill turned to slush before I could get her out. Unable to climb the hill, she stayed in that garage until people wanted the parts more than I wanted her.

Getting a flat tyre was the worst...
When a road is built on clay, using beach stones carried by mules from over 6 miles away (more than 80 years ago), and loggers come with their trucks, skidders and peg-wheeled tractors and proceed to tear up the road - punching the remaining stones deep into the clay-bed below - you end up with a morass of mud with no bottom. (I once sank so deep, my boot remained behind when I finally got my foot out. I had to lie face down, put my hand down the hole to retrieve my boot before the hole closed in.)
To change a tyre required a plank under the 720 on which to place the jack in the axle-deep mud (I will not describe that procedure - it involved too much obscenity). Then jack the wheel high enough to get it off, AND CONTINUE JACKING as the wheel is swapped, for the jack is sinking all the time. There is no need to drop the jack, for by the time the spare is back on, the van is on the/in the road again. Besides, most times we couldn't reach the jack by then. You drive forward, then dig out the jack. Those were my tire-changing tools: wheel-nut spanner, jack, LONG jack handle, plank and shovel.
I got fed up of all the little bits of nonsense floating about in the mud that punched tyres, so I started driving around with self-thread screws, a screw-gun and a tyre pump. Instead of attempting to change tyres, I would inflate the bugger, locate the puncture, and screw in a screw. It reached a point where I would be changing worn screws and putting in bigger ones. Never took any tyres to the tyre shop after that.

[X_Factor]

When loggers destroyed the road home, I had to get a way to get home. I also needed to transport materials through one and a half miles of axle-deep mud and clay.
I got a Datsun 720 pick-up, stripped it down to chassis, drivetrain and suspension. The tray (for want of a more accurate word which might border on the obscene - but then, so did the tray) was lightened, and a frame was mounted forward (glibly referred to as a roll-cage). This frame provided a work platform on which were mounted a seat, toolbox, a tiny instrument panel, and protected the engine from 'bush-lash'.

I abandoned the steering column shifter and instead ran two gear levers through the floor attached directly to the two shift-arms on the gearbox. An open-minded person, aware of how a 720 gearbox works, would understand how easy this system could operate. One stick was low/high gear and the other was low/high range. 1st and 2nd were in the low range, 3rd and 4th were in the high range. However, most people who saw this vehicle, were either not acquainted with 720 gearboxes, or not open-minded, and viewed the contraption with alarm. The "forest-used" was the most favourable name - I won't print the others.

Apart from windshield wipers (duh) everything else worked : lights, front and rear (front lights were fogs, rear lights mounted on the 'roll bar'), horn. She had a seatbelt and a fire extinguisher (mounted forward), radio and a CB set.

The additional power gained from no longer having to drag around excess weight, and the 720's fantastic low 1st gear enabled me to use her like a tractor, dragging logs (and Betsy, my 120y, who got stuck or slid off the road with alarming frequency). The stripped 720 shared a battery and alternator with Betsy, so rescuing Betsy involved walking home, battery in one hand, alternator in the next, tools in a pocket; bring the 720 to Betsy, drag her out; take the 720 home; walk back to Betsy with battery and alternator; install and go home - more carefully this time.

Even though the frame had some flaws due to how it was welded (if you let "professionals" tell you that your ideas are inferior to theirs, but they can't explain why, then you look for whatever they give you), I loved this machine. Then one dry season, I converted a storeroom at the base of a hill below the house into a garage. This worked well until the rains came. The hill turned to slush before I could get her out. Unable to climb the hill, she stayed in that garage until people wanted the parts more than I wanted her.

Getting a flat tyre was the worst...
When a road is built on clay, using beach stones carried by mules from over 6 miles away (more than 80 years ago), and loggers come with their trucks, skidders and peg-wheeled tractors and proceed to tear up the road - punching the remaining stones deep into the clay-bed below - you end up with a morass of mud with no bottom. (I once sank so deep, my boot remained behind when I finally got my foot out. I had to lie face down, put my hand down the hole to retrieve my boot before the hole closed in.)
To change a tyre required a plank under the 720 on which to place the jack in the axle-deep mud (I will not describe that procedure - it involved too much obscenity). Then jack the wheel high enough to get it off, AND CONTINUE JACKING as the wheel is swapped, for the jack is sinking all the time. There is no need to drop the jack, for by the time the spare is back on, the van is on the/in the road again. Besides, most times we couldn't reach the jack by then. You drive forward, then dig out the jack. Those were my tire-changing tools: wheel-nut spanner, jack, LONG jack handle, plank and shovel.
I got fed up of all the little bits of nonsense floating about in the mud that punched tyres, so I started driving around with self-thread screws, a screw-gun and a tyre pump. Instead of attempting to change tyres, I would inflate the bugger, locate the puncture, and screw in a screw. It reached a point where I would be changing worn screws and putting in bigger ones. Never took any tyres to the tyre shop after that.

hoss, take win!!

[ruffneck_12]

^^^ EPIC!!!!

[qwerty]

been to a relative today and couldn't help but notice a super piece of ratch contraption which i helped him build 4yrs ago...take a good look at the picture..what do u see?
well if u look closely, its a pic of a plastic bag forming a catchment just below the roof...lol..i prefer to think of it as a dam with a neat orifice/hole! take a better look and u will see several small holes through the plastic lol!
well this ratch is found in the roof of my uncle's poultry farm...several yrs ago, there were several small holes close together in the roof of the farm..the holes caused rain to fall through and wet up the huge fan and the chip/saw dust, so everytime i visited my uncle, i will notice several small buckets on the ground catching the water from the leaks. through time, the holes got bigger.
so one day i told him: "instead of having so much buckets on the ground from so much hole, y not have one drainage and one bucket?"
he replied: "true eh..uh making sense"
then i replied: "ah go make sumtin for uh"

so there u go...i cut a huge plastic bag and tied it under the huge area with all the holes and made one major orifice/hole for drainage...
TEK RATCH IN UH KANKALANG

[d spike]

I have always been told that "ratch" is my middle name...
I have been exerting myself (from time to time) to complete the leeward side of my getaway home in the bush. I got the materials to finish the roof on that side, so at Easter I completed the roof.
However, ratches were ratched...

Rain-water guttering needed support:



Building this roof was barrels of fun:
This barrel

holds up this barrel

which in turn supports this barrel

which supports the bricks, which supports the block of wood, which ensures that while I (with my well-built figure) am on top the roof (which, as I did the 'design and build' thing, might not be that well-built) the roof won't suffer major trauma - myself as well.

[DFC]

Wtf spike.. hahahahaahahhahaahaa

Allyuh men great !