HILARIOUS!
fellas if alyuh doing this....take heed!enjoy!
Letter to The Horner man
To the horner man bullin' meh gyul. Yuh know who yuh is an Yes I know who yuh is too. Ah not mad at yuh but ah jus wha yuh do sumthin' fuh meh. After all, yuh bullin meh gyul.
1. Please doh leave de' toilet seat up, I does get blame and it is startin to get old.
2. True, ah gettin a chance to go an lime more often but please stop drinking all de STAG. Is no scene if yuh bat a few while yuh dey (god know I does drink plenty before I find she fuckable), but please leave a few for me, I have to be dey more than you.
3. If yuh drink the last one, no scene, jus buy more or leave money on top the T.V. an i go organize.
4. Put up a roll ah' toilet paper if you use all. For some reason meh lill son belive if it not there he doh not have to wipe he ass. We does keep it under de sink, unless you can gimme a better spot?
5. whe allyuh doen bull, please(ah beggin) use a napkin or toilet paper to wipe off with, nah. The clothes bythe bed is mine and they clean! That gyul doh know bout washin clothes an I does run out ah time rushing to work. Last week meh shirt had break on it (thanks).
6. Please doh not tell the children dem you is dey uncle, they young, not retarded.
7. Please doh turn the A/C so cold nah, You en payin nothing and T an' TEC not cheap, de gyul might like it but It gettin real expensive.
8. When she ask yuh if she lookin big in the new jeans, jus say no. Yuh think she go not eat as much but all she go do is spen more ah' meh money buyin jeans to look fat een.
9. Doh eat all de pone. The one yuh eat was from meh queen fuh meh earthstrong. de gyul cyan cook, an when she brink home she KFC, she doh share!.
10. Try shiftin yuh weight when you sit down on meh chair. The recliner that I doh have much time to use because football practice an basketball camp fuh the youth an dem does takes plenty ah meh time and I does try to help wit de homework too. It have a sink in it that does force me to roll to the left lill bit.
Last thing. ah have to say thank you fuh carryin she out Valentines Day. She was'n as hungry as usual later in de night, an use the extra money ah save to carry the children cinema.
I really hope yuh could help meh out dey wit dem ting, Ah really doh want to have to tell she nun. If yuh could do this fuh meh, ah go let yuh know when ah headin out an fuh how long so yuh doh hadda rush.
By The Way, ah goin up in de country by meh queen with de chiren dem de 3rd ah April fuh four days, It have a bottle ah hard wine an a bottle ah johnnie on the fridge if yuh run out ah STAG an CARIB.
yes man 
:shock 
